When the Answer Isn’t “Yes” — and Why That’s Not the Problem
Jan 26, 2026This time of year is heavy.
Students who were once excited — proudly sharing acceptances, celebrating in-state schools, talking about next year — suddenly feel different.
Now come the emails that say:
“At this time, we are not able to offer you admission.”
They feel like rejections.
And almost immediately, the second-guessing begins:
- Should I have applied to a different major?
- Should I have written about something else in my essay?
- Should I have added another activity?
- Should I have taken AP Physics instead of AP Biology?
Parents watch their child spiral — questioning their worth, their decisions, and sometimes themselves.
And I want to say this clearly:
No.
No.
No.
No.
College admissions is not a post-mortem learning exercise.
This is not like a breakup, where two people knew each other deeply — where you reflect on moments, conversations, sacrifices, and intimacy.
College admissions is not intimate.
The people making these decisions do not know your child. They don’t know their favorite color, their favorite movie, or what makes them laugh.
They don’t know how hard they worked on that one assignment.
They don’t know the nights they stayed up worried.
They don’t know the quiet determination your child carries.
They know only what was placed in front of them:
- grades
- test scores
- 10 activities
- writing style
- major selection
And then — in one moment — they decide what their campus needs that year.
Not who your child is.
Not who your child will become.
Just what they still need to fill.
That’s it.
This decision is not personal — even though it hurts personally.
Let’s flip the script.
Instead of focusing on the schools that said “not at this time,”
what about the schools that said yes?
The colleges that looked at your child’s application and said:
We want you here.
The schools that believe your student will contribute — academically, socially, intellectually.
The schools that didn’t just review your file…
but saw potential.
Those are not consolation prizes.
Those are opportunities.
A lesson from this year’s Heisman Trophy winner
Fernando Mendoza sent his highlight reel to over 100 schools.
You applied to maybe 15–20 colleges.
He attended 18 football camps across the country.
Introduced himself to every coach who would listen.
And he was told no. Over and over again.
Even schools near his home didn’t want him.
He had the grades for Yale — and was told, “Take it. That’s probably your last chance to play.”
No scholarship. No NFL path.
But he waited.
Two weeks before signing day, Cal Berkeley had a quarterback decommit.
They called Fernando.
He flew across the country, and toured the campus. He was offered a spot on the team — on the spot.
Out of 134 FBS programs, he had one offer. He took it.
He arrived as the third-string quarterback. He practiced by pretending to be other teams’ quarterback. He learned the opposition's plays and waited.
When he finally got his chance, he lost four games in a row — all against ranked teams.
People said he wasn’t ready, that he was a mistake, that he should have gone to Yale.
He was sacked 41 times in two seasons. Still — he kept going. Not because everyone believed in him.
But because he didn’t define himself by who said no.
Eventually, he realized something important: Cal wasn’t willing to develop him.
So, he made a decision people called crazy: he transferred — to Indiana. The losingest program in college football history. Over 700 losses.
But Coach Cignetti told him: “I’m going to turn you into the best Fernando Mendoza possible.”
That was all Mendoza needed. Indiana poured into him. They built around him. They believed in him.
Indiana went 16–0.
Fernando Mendoza won the Heisman Trophy.
The same kid who was told “not you” a hundred times became the best player in college football. Not because of prestige.
But because of fit, belief, and development.
And this is the lesson for students right now
Do not spend time wondering how you could have been "better" for a school that didn’t choose you.
Do not grieve the "loss" of a place that did not make space for your curiosity, your ambition, or your growth.
Instead — lean into the schools that are excited about you.
The ones saying:
“We see you.”
“We want you.”
“We believe we can help you become your best self.”
Those are the campuses where students thrive. Those are the places where confidence grows.
Those are the schools that lead to leadership, opportunity, momentum — and happiness.
A popular name does not guarantee fulfillment. A famous logo does not guarantee success.
But the right environment — absolutely does.
If you or your child are struggling with these emotions right now, know this:
A denial is not a definition. And “not at this time” is not the end of the story.
Sometimes the path that looks smaller at first is actually the one that helps students become bigger versions of themselves.
And that — in the long run — matters far more.
💛
— Kelly MacLean Achievement Center
